02
Feb
Once a year, love gets its own commemoration. This is because it is just as important as any person, concept or God that has been chosen as a cause of celebration. I believe it is even more so, as it stands as a foundation for anything else. Because anything worth honoring, arises from love.
Something else I find awesome about this particular day is the realization that love actually is all around – I’m just kidding! I am actually referencing to the overall understanding that there is not just one type of love.
This essential truth has been re-popularized only in the last decades or so, but humanity used to understand love as an umbrella term. For example, the Greek language knows at least 6 words for the concept of love: agape (approaching the meaning of affection), eros (passionate love), philia (friendship kind of love), storge (love between relatives), philautia (self-love) and xenia (hospitality).
These days, on Valentine’s, we have a choice (and rightfully so). We actively choose who to spend this energy-filled day with. For this reason, I have created a tiny diagram depicting the most favored selections and how to make the best out of them:
Spending Valentine’s with your partner
When it comes to a person you are deeply connected with on all levels, creating space is what I think is most value. Space for what, you might ask yourself? For everything and anything that wants to be shared and heard.
Sometimes it is easier to have a relationship than to actually be in one. It is super important to take some time to forge genuine intimacy. By this I just mean choosing an activity or state of being where you can actively be there.
Of course, this means different things to different people. My bonding activity of choice is (and always has, always will be) taking a walk! I think it takes the cake when it comes to its impacts. First of all, it is certainly amazing for you –body and soul– and it is cost efficient, even if you stop for a sweet treat. Secondly, you must just walk. You literally must, you cannot get distracted as easily as when you are watching a movie or playing a game.
You manually set up an ambience, where coming out of your shell is encouraged. The hopefully fresh air, the soft breathing, the tight holding of hands because of the cold, it is inherently romantic!
Do I mention walks in almost all my posts? Yeah, maybe. Alas, if you are not an adept of walking, you and your partner can choose from a variety of fun and grounding activities. Perhaps crafting a meaningful playlist, lighting up some candles and pouring some wine. You two can listen to it, without any other distractions in sight. Another activity could include signing up for a dance class, in order to create space while minimizing the physical one standing in the way. Even drinking tea whilst gazing lovingly at each other is a beautiful and special way to be present. Never underestimate the power of a single moment of intense connection and vulnerability.
Spending Valentine’s with friends or family
If what makes a couple is composed of wholeheartedly being there, friends and family are all about celebrating warmth. Think about it, when you are feeling down, like an eternal night has set over your soul, you go to them – your loved ones. They either warm you up by physical means (aka a hot tea or a homemade meal) or by metaphorical ones (relatable jokes, encouraging words, calming promises).
For exactly that reason, I propose we find a rather literal way to relish in the warmth and comfort. I am very into literal things today, apparently. Anything goes here, according to your likings, budget and available time. My friends and I love referencing to the ideal state we want to achieve as feeling like noodles in a boiling soup. We are talking Roman baths, hot springs, even saunas.
If cosplaying an overcooked carrot is not your thing, you can opt for a cozy home-cooked meal (or takeout that invokes that feeling). You can choose a nostalgic movie, one that holds memories, and just let yourself be healed by the spoonful.
Other cool ways to celebrate warmth include sitting by a fireplace or, alternatively, a bonfire out in nature, if the February weather allows it. You can sip on mulled wine or hot chocolate full of marshmallows. Does this sound too tedious? What about melting some chocolate over the stove and dipping strawberries in it? Or some cheese and preparing crackers to go with it. My sister loves to bake Camembert and dip toasted bread inside the gooey mixture.
Get even more creative! Make some s’mores over the kitchen stove or just put a fireplace ambiance on Youtube. Warmth can be found in all kinds of places, if they are already filled with love.
Spending Valentine’s with yourself
It’s easier for a lot of people to give love than to receive or, alternatively, to receive if they feel they have offered enough. On this lovely day, we shall get a step closer to deconstructing this belief.
Sometimes, out of fear, we keep ourselves in the comfort zone, where it is “safe”. That doesn’t allow much growing though, the sweet spot tends to be on the smaller side. I propose, for your special Valentine (yourself), to do something you wouldn’t normally do.
To be in theme, I would suggest getting yourself a cake and eating it too. Why? Because we have been thought that cakes are for special occasions only. They are supposed to be populated by candles and sliced according to the number of guests. Otherwise, it’s just weird. Just like someone has universally decided it is peculiar to sit by yourself at a restaurant and eat. Well, I find that rather stupid. Being alone doesn’t directly correlate with being lonely.
You are worth celebrating every day. My mom puts sparkly eyeshadow on each morning, because she says that every day is a special occasion. I want you to do the same. Get yourself your absolute favorite flavor of cake and make sure it is extra fresh (none of those stale batter situations). Alternatively, if baking is a skill of yours, make one yourself! Maybe in a heart shape, or a red velvet flavor just to give it a romantic flair.
Make sure to eat it for yourself, while enjoying your own company. With each bite, think about all the beautiful dates you took yourself this year, all the stunning bouquets of flowers you gifted yourself, all the encouraging words you uttered to yourself that kept you going.
If cake is not your thing (I don’t judge), try surprising yourself in another way. Be spontaneous and do something else you wouldn’t normally do. Anything your gut instinct tells you to. I bet it will end up being a huge opportunity, one that is aligned with your path.
At the end, I want to stretch out again that Valentine’s Day is for love, in all its forms, not only romantic love. It can be spent doing whatever you want, nothing has to be a certain way, the only rule – I think – is to do it lovingly and mindfully.
Every day should be a day of and for love. But maybe we are not there yet as a society, so one day each year seems reasonable until then. I truly hope this one finds you deeply and completely in love with yourself and maybe some other people too. I hope you wake up and the coffee is delicious, your hair effortlessly chic, all the traditional romcoms streaming and the sun decides to show its face, even in the depth of winter.
Kurtiboo
Your mom has life figured out! What a great way of starting the day, and what a good example of philautia! <3 Thank you for this post! It is a great way to prove to the Valentine's Day skeptics that this day is really about love, and many things can be done even without spending much! Celebrating the people you love, or rather the feeling involved, is the purest form of happiness! I wish you both a cozy Valentine's escapade, and I hope you Celestials can reach the ultimate form of noodles in a boiling soup! Cheers to love, girlhood, and sisterhood! XOXO, Kurtiboo :**
The Cozy Sisters
It’s all about the ultimate noddle state, indeed :** thank you for the beautiful wishes and Happy Valentine’s to you too, cozy soul!
Kurtiboo
Thank you, hehe!🎨☺️